I saw this online and decided to share. It got a chuckle out of me. I hope it gets one out of you too.
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: “When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy responds: “I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great family man”.
The second guy says: “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow”.
The third guy thinks for a while and then replies: “I guess I’d like to hear them say ‘Look – he’s moving’
I would love to have that super power! Life would be turned upside down, inside out and left standing on its head! As a young girl, I pretended to be this fairy with a crown of roses and baby’s breath on her head and with a magic wand in my hand!
I used to walk around in the forest granting wishes to make-believe beings. It was done with a big smile on my face and a zap of the wand. I still wish and hope that one day the magic wand miraculously appears and I would be granted the super power of granting wishes to anyone who needed it.
What a wonderful world that would be! I know “life” wouldn’t think so because it would be too easy and it doesn’t always like things easy. It is about learning, falling down, picking yourself up, moving on, and so on and so forth. Getting your wishes granted by a fairy who has her head in the clouds is NOT what it is about.
However, if I could, I would love to have the super power of granting wishes. Life would be made so much easier for a lot of people and WE would be walking around with a permanent smile plastered on our faces!
I can wish but getting it done is a whole different thing altogether.
This is a hard one because I have an inquisitive mind and I want to know several things so to keep it to one mystery that I haven’t been able to solve is hard because I have hundreds of questions! It will open Pandora’s Box for sure!
Anyway, there is one thing I have always wondered about. It is about “LOVE.” More specifically, why do people walk into your life only to leave? Is there a bigger mystery to this phenomenon? Do they walk in to teach you a lesson or have you veered away from the path you were supposed to be on? A friend told me recently, “The path has been laid out. It has all been decided for you. The problem is when you veer off course than the one you are supposed to be on, it just takes longer to get to where you need to go.” I thought this was an interesting way of looking at it. What if there is some truth to this concept?
Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to get answers to the questions I am seeking. Maybe, just maybe, I’m better off not knowing!
Daily writing prompt
What’s a mystery from your own life that you’ve never solved?
Life often speaks in whispers at the beginning, it stomps its feet if you don’t listen and it screams to get your attention when you’re heading towards a head-on collision. Through it all, it has your back and is on your side if only you are willing to pay attention to what it has to say. And that is the hard part.
“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention what you give your precious life force to.” Brenda Shoshanna
The truth is as “humans” we march to our own drumbeat. We see what is not good for us, we know it spells trouble and we know if we keep going down that path, it will take us to exactly where we don’t want to go BUT we are hell-bent on doing it anyway. Are we wired for destruction, is that what we seek? At times, it seems that way but luckily for us, life comes in and shows us the way out but only if we pay attention.
“Pay attention to the signs. Stop making excuses for people. Stop defending their inconsiderate ways. Start taking care of you and your own needs.” Unknown
I do that all the time. Make excuses for inconsiderate people that is, BUT there comes a point in time when I say enough is enough and then I shut the door behind me but unfortunately, it is always a day late and a dollar short. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way but most of us do. Don’t ask me why but we just do. Do we get a thrill out of pain? I don’t know but not paying attention when life is screaming seems to be the problem.
When we don’t pay attention to love, it has a tendency to bring us down to our knees and then we ask what happened? We know exactly why. The answers have been staring us in the face even before the collision happened.
Pay Attention To Her:
When a woman is “tripping” she cares, when a woman is “mad” she believed in you and you let her down, when she is “asking questions” she is trying to gain clarity, when she is “quiet” and letting things slide she is giving up….And when she is not doing all of the above…just know you have lost a good woman.” Unknown
AND
“Sometimes you have to put aside what you feel for them, and PAY ATTENTION to what their actions are saying they feel for you.”
Finally, paying attention seems to be the key to a better life, better relationships and a better way through the intricate maze we call life. Pay attention to the signs before it is too late. Not easy to do but there is no other way it seems.
Listen to the wind, it talks.
Listen to the silence, it speaks.
Listen to your heart, it knows. Native American Proverb
There are the greats like Martin Luther King. He taught us “to love others and not hate because love always wins in the end.”
Buddha emphasized the Middle Way. The message was to avoid indulgence extreme asceticism and he advocated for moral conduct, wisdom, and skillful actions. There is a lot one can learn from the Buddha’s way of life.
Lastly but not least, Confucius. He advocated for peace and respect for others. He came up with the Golden Rule: “What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.” He believed that all people deserved respect.
I love what these “greats” had to say and how their messages of love, tolerance and the moral way still resonates with us and within me.
Daily writing prompt
List the people you admire and look to for advice…
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?”
“Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic….” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language….things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home…Please mama!”
“Sarah, Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?
“Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter. “I’m so embarrassed they’re just too awful! Come get me, please!”
“Darling baby, you must tell me what has you so upset…Tell your mother these 4-letter words! Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh mama….words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK…!”
If you want to change things for the better, vote! In short, your vote is your voice so let it be heard loud and clear. It is the only way to make a difference. By voting, you have a say in how certain issues are decided. Some important issues are gun safety and gun rights, crime prevention and law enforcement and Medicare and Social Security benefits just to name a few. Your vote counts in how these issues are decided.
So, yes voting is important. It may seem like a small thing but your voice matters so show up and let it be heard. Know that you have a say in the matter.
Direction is needed to show where you are headed. If you have a purpose it is easier to navigate life’s twists and turns because you have a goal and that further motivates your journey, whatever that is for you.
In my case, I am on a journey to find love. Therefore, I am working on what it takes to get me there. I have this narrow-minded focus which helps to align and move me forward towards that specific goal. This also helps to provide a roadmap for my journey although it is not always clear and often it means falling off by the wayside many times over but I get back on and that is important because standing still is not going to do it. Keep moving, keep learning and keep on heading towards the direction you want to go. If you want a certain outcome, you have to do the work. This purpose also helps me to stop drifting aimlessly because I have a goal in mind. Look at where you are now and where you want to go. This helps to give a purpose or direction to work towards to. Success is all up to you and I know that embracing the unknown is scary but it is needed in this case.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy (or gal) who’ll decide where to go.” Dr. Seuss
It started out as usual. Running around like a chicken with its head off is normal here now that the other two cats have moved in. Mornings are not mine anymore. The meowing starts around 5 in the morning and doesn’t stop until I open my bedroom door and see the two, Shiro and Galli looking at me expectantly. They know the “food lady” is up and they can relax.
My little guy, Chachi, hates this ritual. He used to be the one and only but now finds himself sharing everything with the other two and it is not setting too well with him. He is quieter than usual, keeps to himself, and growls a lot. I put it down to territorial behavior but things escalated this morning.
I got up, fed the two, cleaned the litter boxes, all before breakfast! Then, I brought Little Macho (my guy) his food. He grunted and walked to the window and ignored me. That was the first sign and I should have paid attention but instead I picked him up and whispered to him telling him that I know it is hard for him. He glanced over with hooded eyes and it happened. He slapped me with his paws on both side of my face and I went, “Ouch!” It hurt. I couldn’t believe that he had done what he did. I rushed downstairs and looked for the disinfectant. Yes, I’m a germaphobe! I proceeded to disinfect the sides of my face and luckily it wasn’t that bad. He did break skin in a few places but I’m sure it will heal. What hurt more than that was the fact that my “little sweetheart” was capable of hurting me.
I Googled and it said that it is normal behavior for a resident cat to feel like his safe space has been invaded by strangers and it is also normal for him to direct his aggression towards me as well. The solution or rather suggestion was to keep them separated for a few days. Keep everything separate, litter boxes, food and sleeping space including play area. I had thought they were getting along but I was wrong and now I am sad. The article also went on to say that I should wash my hands after touching the other two so that he doesn’t smell them on me! It seems they need time to adjust and to do it slowly.
SAD? Absolutely. I love my little guy and I am sad that he is feeling left out. I like the other two as well and they are growing on me like barnacles on a rock! The little white one loves hanging around me and this morning I sprayed on some scent after my shower and she watched me and then started sniffing the air like she approved. So I let her smell my wrist and Chachi started growling! Gallahad is learning to play with a tennis ball. His idea of playtime is to let me do all the work! He hits the ball down the stairs and waits till I get it for him. Exactly why he is overweight and loving it!
Now, I have to work at getting all three to play together. It is going to take a few days of separation and I’m not sure how I am going to go about it but I will keep you posted. I have to get Chachi happy again and that is a priority. If there is a will, there is a way as they say.
Fingers and toes crossed and hopefully the scratches heal with no dire consequences!
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Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?
These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.
Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.
There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”
Lord have mercy!
Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:
“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown
However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.
Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!
This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!
Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.
Identify your Needs
Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”
Don’t Settle
This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.
Be your Own Person
This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.
Be Persistent
If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.
While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.
Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.
I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!
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